The May Day Teaser …

Good lord, I’m amazed.

No, really, I am!

It’s May Day — so you can guess the theme of today’s teaser, can’t you? — and it’s actually sunny, outside.

I might just grab the bikini, and the suntan lotion, and get a tan.

Or, at least, to jig around a May Pole.

Well, maybe not, but it does look the perfect day for a stroll …

At any rate, here’s today’s May Day Questions; eleven of them, today …

Q1) May Day, in 1328 saw England recognise which country’s independence?

Q2) The irony is that May Day also saw the Act of Union between the two countries; in which year of the 1700’s?

Q3) May Day in 1751 saw the very first cricket match played in what’s now … where?

Q4) May Day also saw the introduction, in 1840, of the first adhesive postage stamp; how’s it known to us non-philatelists?

Q5) The Great Exhibition was opened at the Crystal Palace, on May Day, 1851. In which year of the 1930’s did the Crystal Palace burn down?

Q6) Talking of burnt down palaces, which palace reopened on May Day, 1873, after almost burning down?

Q7) May Day, in 1869, saw the opening of which Paris institution … ?

Q8) Today is also the feast of Saint Joseph the Worker; he was the husband of Mary, and the patron saint of whom; carpenters, electricians, or brickies?

Q9) May Day is also celebrated, in many parts of the world, as International … what … Day?

Q10) What form of dancing is traditionally performed in England, on May Day?

Q11) And finally, what’s the name of the ancient Celtic May Day celebrations?

And here’s yesterday’s Walgurgis Nacht questions and answers …

Q1) April 30th is Walpurgis Nacht; in many of the countries it’s celebrated, it’s the equivalent to what; Bonfire Night, or Halloween?

A1) Actually, either, as far as I can tell. Some countries light bonfires, and many see it as a night when witches run riot.

Q2) Walpurgis Nacht is named after Saint Walpurga; which English county was she from?

A2) Devon.

Q3) April the 30th is also the day — in 1812 — when the 18th US state joined the Union. Which US state are we talking about?

A3) Louisiana. (Home of its own form of voodoo. Funnily …)

Q4) April the 30th 2008 saw the remains of Alexei and Anastasia Romanov being found; which country’s Royal family were they members of?

A4) Russia’s.

Q5) Today is also the birthday of which back from the dead “EastEnders” actor?

A5) Leslie Grantham; Dirty Den, in other words …

Q6) April 30th, 1993, saw the birth of the World Wide Web, at CERN; in which European country is CERN?

A6) Switzerland. (Web, spiders, spider-web? No? Never mind …)

Q7) The American blues musician known as the ‘Father of the Chicago Blues’, died today in 1983; was that Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, or Blind Lemon Jefferson?

A7) Muddy Waters. (He had hit’s with “Got My Mojo Working”, and “Hootchie Cootchie Man”; both both were mildly spooky …)

Q8) Today in 1973 saw President Richard Nixon famously make a speech about what … ?

A8) Watergate. (The Walpurgis excuse for including this? Well it does get mentioned in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”…)

Q9) Moving on, George Washington was sworn in as the first elected president of the USA; in which year of the 1780’s?

A9) 1789.

Q10) And finally, today in 1975 saw the ending of which controversial war?

A10) The Vietnam War.

I’m hoping they were enjoyable?

I’m just hoping no-body indulged in the ancient Walpurgis tradition of chucking a Virgin on a bonfire.

Finding a virgin, ’round here …

•••••

I almost forgot, I’ve a free online quiz I wanted to give you.

Here …

ROUND ONE: – GENERAL KNOWLEDGE.

Q1) What word can go before 'shot' and after 'cauliflower'?

A1) Ear

Q2) What is the square root of 729?

Q2) Twenty-seven.

Q3) What is the collective word for a group of foxes?

A3) Skulk

Q4) What would you do with a Labret : - eat it, play it, or wear it?

A4) Wear it; – it’s a lip piercing.

Q5) What colour is traditionally associated with Roman Emperors?

A5) Purple

Q6) What is the family name of the Dukes of Wellington?

A6) Wellesley

Q7) Lina Medina, from Peru, is the world’s youngest recorded what?

A7) Mother. She fell pregnant at the age of 5.

Q8) Which animals are traditionally sold at Bampton fair?

A8) Exmoor ponies

Q9) Which entertainer was famous for his emu attack on Michael Parkinson?

A9) Rod Hull

Q10) “What an artist dies in me” were — according to tradition — the last words of which Roman Emporer?

A10) Nero

ROUND TWO: – SOAP AND FLANNEL.

Q11) Which legendary rock band appeared in “Coronation Street”, in 2005?

A11) Status Quo

Q12) In “Hollyoaks”, what instrument does Rhys Ashworth play?

A12) Drums

Q13) In “Neighbours”, what was the name of Lou and Harold’s shop?

A13) The General Store

Q14) Danii Minogue, Kylie’s kid sister, appeared in “Home & Away”. What was the name of her character?

A14) Emma Jackson.

Q15) Who reached number 4, in 1986, with a version of the “EastEnders” theme-tune, called ‘Anyone Can Fall In Love’?

A15) Anita Dobson. (Better known as Angie Watts)

Q16) In “Coronation Street”, who did Gail describe as “Norman Bates with a briefcase”?

A16) Her husband, Richard Hillman.

Q17) Roger Tonge played which character, in the original “Crossroads”?

A17) Sandy

Q18) In “EastEnders”, what term of endearment did Alfie Moon give Peggy Mitchell?

A18) Duchess.

Q19) In “Dallas”, what was the name of Pam and Bobby’s adopted son?

A19) Christopher

Q20) There were two rival families in “Dallas”; – name either.

A20) The Ewings and the Barnes

ROUND THREE: – FOOD AND DRINK.

Q21) What drink would make you “drunk for a penny, dead drunk for tuppence”?

A21) Gin

Q22) On average how many seeds are there on a McDonalds big Mac bun; 178, 278, or 378?

A22) 178.

Q23) What is the literal English translation of the French word “Chef”?

A23) Chief.

Q24) Ciabatta, and pitta, are types of what?

A24) Bread.

Q25) What type of pea is used in hummus?

A25) The chick pea.

Q26) What colour is the sauce on a prawn cocktail?

A26) Pink.

Q27) Which batter mix is a traditional accompaniment to roast beef?

A27) Yorkshire Pudding.

Q28) True or false; - Rosé is made from red grapes that have had their skins removed.

A28) True.

Q29) What shellfish are used in Moules Marinière?

A29) Mussels.

Q30) What name is given to a small segment of garlic?

A30) A clove.

ROUND FOUR: – NAME THAT (OPENING) LINE.

Q31) “When you alone and life is making you lonely”

A31) “Downtown”, Petula Clark

Q32) “They say we’re young, and we don’t know”.

A32) “I Got You, Babe”, by Sonny and Cher

Q33) “Oh, my love, my darling”.

A33) “Unchained Melody”, the Righteous Brothers

Q34) “There’s a gentleman that’s going round, turning the joint up side down”.

A34) “Stoolpidgeon”, Kid Creole and the Coconuts

Q35) “Say your prayers little one – don’t forget, my son, to include everyone”.

A35) “Enter the Sandman”, Metallica

Q36) “I can’t get no …”.

A36) “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”, by the Rolling Stones

Q37) “Push me, and then just touch me, until I get my …”.

A37) “Satisfaction”, by Bennie Benassi

Q38) “I had this perfect dream - Un sueño me envolvió”.

A38) “Barcelona” by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballé.

Q39) “Baby if you`ve got to go away, I don`t think I don’t think I can take the pain”.

A39) “Stay Another Day”. E17

Q40) “You gotta speed it up, and then you gotta slow it down”.

A40) “Making Your Mind Up”, by Bucks Fizz.

ROUND FIVE: – AROUND EUROPE.

Q41) The Solidarity trade Union began in which country?

A41) Poland.

Q42) Which city was built on seven hills?

A42) Rome

Q43) What is Delft in Holland famous for?

A43) Pottery

Q44) Which city is known locally as München?

A44) Munich

Q45) Where, prior to the introduction of the Euro, would you have spent pesetas?

A45) Spain.

Q46) What’s the capital of the Ukraine?

A46) Kiev.

Q47) The Palace of Versailles is near which European capital?

A47) Paris.

Q48) The Leaning Tower of Pisa was originally designed as what, an observatory, a bell tower, or a mosque?

A48) A bell tower.

Q49) Tirana is the capital city of which eastern European country?

A49) Albania.

Q50) In which Irish city is the Abbey Theatre?

A50) Dublin.

ROUND SIX: – GENERAL IGNORANCE.

Q51) What was the 1st country in the world to have a TV service?

A51) Great Britain.

Q52) In which country was the 1st CD made?

A52) Japan.

Q53) How many days are there, in April and May, put together?

A53) 61. (30 in April, 31 in May.)

Q54) What type of songs did John Mason Neale write?

A54) Hymns.

Q55) Achluophobia is a fear of what, darkness, or light?

A55) Darkness.

Q56) What’s the only English anagram of FOUNDLING?

A56) Unfolding.

Q57) Which — according to its adverts — is “soft, strong and very long”?

A57) Andrex toilet tissue

Q58) In 1935, C. C. McGee invented what the parking meter, the traffic lights, or the Belisha beacon?

A58) The Parking meter.

Q59) Where’s the sweat gland of a cow, in it’s nose, it’s tongue, or it’s bottom?

A59) In it’s nose.

Q60) What word can go before ‘board’, and after ‘paper’?

A60) ‘Dart’.

Transformers; An Artistically Meaningful Film. NOT!

Ok, maybe I’m being a little bit over the top with the irony, there.

Just a touch.

A tad.

But I think I’ve possibly — possibly — got an excuse, here.

And just as equally possibly not got an excuse for throwing in the pic of Megan Fox, who appeared as the love interest — Michæla — in the film.

Had to double check the cast list and character names there.

Which possibly tells you something …

I’m hoping it’ll imply “Transformers” is …

Well …

Entertaining …

Eumm …

Possibly not — it’s sort of borderline entertaining, although it does have a lot of eye-candy in it.

I do know it’s the first time I’ve seen Movie Night Adrian trying to politely avoid, and then give in to swearing, then he wondered why John Voight — Angelina’s dad, don’t forget — be involved with a bad movie.

Not quite the phrase he used, but you get the idea.

I’m not thinking it was that bad.

But — borrowed copy that it was — I’m glad I didn’t pay money for it.

Ok, I know I maybe shouldn’t be expecting much from a film that is, after all, spun off from a TV series that is, in turn, spun off from a line of toys. And aimed maybe more at a family audience* than its 12 certificate implies.

But, while the look of — and action in — the film is superb, I can’t help but think that, in the post-Buffy, post-“Shrek”, post-new “Doctor Who” space that genre film and TV now occupies, a certain level of emotional sophistication is missing from this.

Which is possibly unsurprising, given one of the production companies involved was Dreamworks; “Transformers” was made after their distribution deal with Disney, but could easily, I feel, have been directly funded by the latter.

I’m also fairly certain that John Voight’s involvement with this film would’ve earnt the production companies involved a little bit of kudos for hiring himº, earnt him a nice amount of what Humphrey Bogart would’ve called “FU money”. In other words, much like the “Indiana Jones” movies did for Spielberg, it got Voight a big fat pay-cheque that let him move onto the projects that he really wants to do. There’s also a long used phrase from the world of professional music — the Tax Albumª — that’s must modern rock bands nearest equivalent.

So, much as I would’ve liked to have recommended “Transformers” to people, I’m not.

I’m really not.

I’d really only feel comfortable about recommending it to you if you’ve got kids who’d like to see it, or the soon to be released sequel.

I also know one of the producers, Tom DeSanto, said he wanted to recreate a sense of wonder with this film.

I’m walking away from it, feeling mildly glad I’ve not spent money on it. Because “Transformers” definitely isn’t wonderful.

* And even then, I’m also very aware that the new series of “Doctor Who” has a lot more subtle gags and references than “Transformers”. That ‘musical theatre’ line in “Daleks of Manhatten” springs to mind …

º I’m told this is also the reason why George Lucas and company hired Alec Guinness, all those years ago, for “Star Wars”; it got them a spot of kudos, being able to say they had a notable heavyweight in their corner. I could possibly make the same argument for Peter Jackson’s hiring of dear, dear Sir Ian. Except Sir Ian McKellan immediately did “Coronation Street”, and “Aladdin” not long, there-after. Which makes him possibly the only Shakespearean actor to have played Window Twankey …

ª The ‘Tax Album’ is any just about on-par album a band makes, when it finds it has a larger than expected tax bill — or alimony/fine/what-have-you — to pay. Or needs to get out of a record contract, quick. And, while I love “Boo”, by Was (Not Was), I have to wonder, sometimes …