Hellraiser (2022) — A Review

7th October, 2022.

It’s Friday: and normally?

I’d be eating dinner: and getting ready to eat another episode of Star Trek Strange New Worlds.

You’ve probably worked that out, by now.

Today?

I’m going to be doing something different: watching a movie.

Watching the 2022 version of Hellraiser, released, today.

Unlike every episode of the franchise since the late 90s?

This has feature some involvement from Clive Barker: the man who created the original movie, and wrote the story it’s based on.

I’ll have my written and video review up, tomorrow night.

I’ll see you then.

~≈🧟‍♂️≈~

8th October, 2022.

Hellraiser opens in the slums of Belgrade: and shows us Serena (Hiam Abbass) buying something from a man called Lorenz (Predrag Bjelac), a man who has something to sell to Serena’s boss, Roland Voight (Goran Višnjić).

The scene shifts to Voight’s mansion,  somewhere in Massachusetts.

A mansion that’s playing host to a rather exclusive party: where the guests are having an … extremely … good time.

We follow a young man called Joey (Kit Clarke), who joins the party late: only to be told where he can meet the host of the party, win a prize … and become entranced by a puzzle box that’s on display.

No realising what the puzzle does: nor what it calls, once solved.

~≈🧟‍♂️≈~

Post titles?

Post titles, we find it’s six years later: and find recovering addict Riley McKendry (Odessa A’zion) is spending some noisy quality time with her boyfriend, Trevor (Drew Starkey).

And spending it in the rooms she shares with her brother Matt, his boyfriend, Colin, and their flatmate, Nora (Brandon Flynn, Adam Faison and Aoife Hinds).

Matt is seriously annoyed at his sister: Riley dating someone he feels unsuitable, whilst at an especially vulnerable point in her Twelve Step programme.

The argument gets heated.

To the point where Riley decides to spend the night Trevor’s place.

Whilst there … ?

Riley confesses to him that’s she’s sick of her job: and will need money to be able to rent her own flat.

Which is where Trevor makes a suggestion.

Back when he dealt, he’d pinch stuff from the local warehouse district: there were a number of places that stored high value stuff … places with little in the way of security.

There’s one warehouse: that usually had a lot of rich pickings in it.

An easy heist would be a good way of earning some cash.

There’s one one problem with that.

There’s only one container left at the warehouse.

One that just contains a safe.

A safe that just has a wooden box.

A wooden box with a puzzle.

Curiosity killed the cat.

But that never stopped humans wanting to fiddle.

~≈🧟‍♂️≈~

Now … what did I make of this new version of Hellraiser?

Was it good, bad, indifferent … ?   Outrageously awful, or outright fantastic?

It’s the latter: it’s outright fantastic!

I suspect I’m going to need to do a lot of explaining, though, aren’t I … ?

First things first?

If you’ve not read — or seen — one of my movie reviews, I tend to give films a a very rough rating.

I give zero stars (☆☆☆☆) to films I see as complete twaddle: films that — with the best will in the world — are wastes of your time and money, and that, like herpes, are best avoided.

I give a maximum of four stars (★★★★) to films I think you have to see.

Literally, have to see.

Now.

I gave the original Hellraiser ★★★☆ out of a potential four, so you know.

Although I was tempted to give it two: it’s good, and very original … but hasn’t necessarily aged well.

Please keep that in mind, whilst I move on … 

The story, itself?

Has little in common with the original film: or the short story that it was based on.

The original film told us about Kirsty, and her fight against her Uncle Frank: a man desperately trying to escape the Cenobites he’s sold himself to.

This Hellraiser?   Tells us about Riley: a young woman who’s fighting real demons, as well as her own … all in a desperate effort to rescue a loved one from a punishment he doesn’t deserve.

Riley’s possibly not the classic ingénue, not the classic innocent abroad: but is very much that girl-next-door, facing an evil villain.

In this case?   She’s unknowingly battling Voight: facing dangers and betrayal along the way.

Please notice I say Voight: he’s the real monster of the piece.

The Cenobites — led by a Pinhead now credited as the Priest and played by Jamie Clayton — are almost incidental, as incidental as the creatures in the original film.

In a story sense?   This version is a retelling of Demeter and Persephone, or of Odysseus’ descent in Hades.

Versus the original’s vaguely Faustian tale of a woman making a deal with a demonic being: either to bring it back to life, or return it to hell: depending on which woman — Julia or Kirsty — you’re thinking of.

~≈🧟‍♂️≈~

There’s other things we can talking about, too.

For a start, the acting.

I’m no film buff: no theatre critic, either.

I can literally only speak as I see.

And have to admit that the cast were mostly unknown to me.

That cast did a very competent job in the Bruckner directed piece.   

With A’zion as Riley, and Goran Višnjić as Voight, standing out.

As did Jamie Clayton, as the oh-so-iconic Pinhead.

Or Priest, as we should now call the character: Barker, himself, renamed the being in his 2015 novel, The Scarlet Gospels.

At any rate?   Clayton’s performance — along with an unnervingly treated voice? — is both serene, passionate … and hypnotically watchable.

And part of a team.

Something this version of the story shares with the original — but not necessarily the latter films in the series — is the simple fact the Priest is what the Romans would have called Primus inter pares*.

First amongst equals, in other words.

The Priest’s a spokesperson, not a leader.

That’s a hell of a lot better than the slasher that some of the films turned the character into.

Another aspect to all this … ?

Is simply the design of the thing.

Over all, it’s superb.

The Cenobites look beautiful, Voight’s mansion — with it’s array of hidden tunnels, sliding doors, and retracting ceiling — is equally as gorgeous.

Then there’s the one prop everyone remembers from Hellraiser.

The Lament Configuration.   Lamarchand’s configuration.   The Puzzle.

The Box.

That oh so iconic box: that summoned the Cenobites from where-ever they lived, and brought them here … ?

In the ’87 original film, the thing had one shape: the by now familiar cube, that only had a simple set of motions.

The 2022 version?

When we first see it, it’s been partially solved: in a dumb-bell like shape.

And, when the ends are twisted, it summons the Leviathan, the god of the Cenobites.

But that’s just one shape, one configuration, one form: there’s other shapes we see during the course of the film.

That, and the thing’s built in knife, designed to stab the holder, and draw the blood need to finally summon the Cenobites?

Make this a very different beast from its predecessor†.

~≈🧟‍♂️≈~

So … 

Can I tell you what I think, yet?

Can I finally tell you what I thought of this film?

Of Hellraiser’s 2022 reboot?

I’m going to.

This is one hell of a good film.

One that’s full; of fear, terror, and sympathetic main characters, doomed supporting ones, hypnotic monsters … 

And a villain that gets one hell of a comeuppance.

Frankly?

It’s a superb piece: one I’m glad to have seen, and one you would be mad to miss.

Go see Hellraiser.

Then tell your friends how good it is … 

Hellraiser.

★★★★

*        I have no idea if the last word is pronounced pears, pars or pa-RES, I really don’t.   If someone who speaks Latin does know how the phrase is pronounced, can tell me?   I’d appreciate knowing !

†        I’m a Dr Who fan.   This re-design of the Box is on a par with the re-design of the Daleks, for the new series.   If it, or they, doesn’t get your jaw dropping … ?   There’s something wrong with you!